So many people are caught in the grip of the loneliness machine. Its a vicious cycle of inadequacy,doubt, depression, and compensation. Girls especially are ripped apart by this machine. I’m not saying there the only ones who face loneliness but, a lot of guys find other ways to channel this loneliness, through art, music,video games, and drugs. Speaking primarily in generals all I am saying is guys tend to cope with being alone better.
I noticed it in high school and even more now; that girls either dress scantly, or talk perversely to groups of guys in hope of finding just someone who will give them enough attention to get through the loneliness. Even some guys treat girls like yesterdays trash and act promiscuously in hopes of finding a cure to the loneliness. Yes, there is two sides to everything and girls are not the only one who can be sluts.
This reminds me of an experience several years ago when I worked at a call center. I spoke with an elderly man for over two and a half hours about his life. Everything from what he had accomplished living, losing and loving. The silly thing is he called me so I could sell him a credit card but, I noticed how much he just needed someone to talk to so I could not bring myself to hang up the call.
Its strange that people see loneliness as a bad thing, if approached right it can be one of the most fundamental motivational times in ones life. If you tackle it incorrectly it can leave you depressed, and settling for anything or anyone. Just like the man on the phone. He wanted to not be alone and its sad but, he wanted so badly to not be alone he talked to (me) a stranger for a couple hours. You see if you approach loneliness wrong you don’t only hold yourself back from who you where created to become, you compromise yourself. Instead of letting the loneliness fuel his creativity, his ambitions, goals, and even his social outlook and pursuits. He picked up the phone and called someone who he hoped he could have control over by placing a sale at stake. I am glad I handled the call because, I feel That I was able to help him by just listening but, there are people everywhere who just settle and live in a tiny little rut they call life.
I found myself locked back in the jaws of the machine several months ago. I remembered I made it out the first time and, I could surely do it again. I ended up killing off all of my social networking sites because, I felt I was using them as a form of compensation for the real thing. I finally made peace again with myself that I am perfectly imperfect.
Since then I have gained confidence and a desire not only to initiate conversations but, to take it a step further and enlighten those around me with witty antidotes and encouraging words. We can try to portray ourselves to everyone out there and make ourselves so available to the world that we stop looking at whats in ourselves which truly matters.
You see ounce I was able to put aside my pride and let go of the fear of rejection something about me changed. I am not worried about what other people think of me,simply because I know I am awesome. I would rather be wandering and lonely then surrounded by people who cant see me for who I really am. This is not meant to sound depressing because what I found through loneliness is I can be who I am. I can love on everyone and not worry about how other perceive me. I have came to a conclusion that the reason people hate on me is only because they don’t have the happiness I have of being myself. I want to leave you with a lyric that just popped into my mind. In the words of Ben Folds song (there is always someone cooler than you)
Smile Like you’ve got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do
There’s always someone out there cooler than you
I know that’s hard to believe
But there are people you meet
They’re into something that is too big to be Expressed Through their clothes
And they’ll put up with all the poses you throw
And you won’t Even know
That they’re not sizing you up
They know your mom f**ked you up
Or maybe let you watch too much TV
You are simply who you are, don’t try to be a model of someone else because you can only live your life. Loneliness is normal and it can hold you back or build you up and launch your forward; approach it with a clear mind and a positive outlook.