I am lost in a dream called reality; it’s a mix of perspectives that constantly change. Even though it can bring with it similar stories there never quite the same. My life is a wreck an emotional catastrophe, an abstract collision of caring and fighting the fear of growing.
The closer I get to finding myself the further I get from knowing the truth. I know you let me spend my 22nd birthday alone while you spent the whole night on the phone. A bottle of jack became my best friend and I woke up in the ditch under 3 feet of snow.
Honesty is not what you make it, but you can still change the truth like the color of your hair. It’s not like we were constantly fighting or ever argued more then a day. Maybe you just got bored with me, but I know one thing for sure. That is this life is to short and even if you can’t see who I am, I won’t let it change me. I’m irrational, spontaneous, and random sometimes I just don’t care but, my biggest weakness I confess is when it comes to loving you.
I know that I am a wreck but, u can really clog up my view of reality. I may be lost and a little confused but; I’m not broken or empty, I’m just me. With one foot in front of the next my heart is the only thing leading me on. Even though I try so hard I still fall back on you and all these memories that hold the glue. I know you’re still there and I can’t bring myself to pick up the phone I would rather be alone then with someone who can’t see me for who I am.
This is my response to life, all the pain that you have put me through. I know that I am a wreck and even a thousand miles away we have never met. I know I hold your heart, even if you don’t know it yet. I don’t deserve the love that you have as its bigger then the sun. The days still go on but, one day I will find you if you promise to find me.