I have to confess..It’s nights like tonight I wonder what is the real reason I’m alive. I get that it would make more sense for me to be cheerful but, really lets scrape the excrement’s from my mind. The road ahead seems like a field of land minds and apparently I should already know where I should step. So really it’s alright; if I don’t mind missing a limb or two. I should come out of this alright.
I feel like an ally cat that is dependent on people who seem to care and the mystery of what’s left behind. But enough with the metaphors, it’s apparent that I am just broke. This emotional drama of fighting the fear of caring and feeling has left me unglued. Being emotionally detached and the overly compelling feeling to care has left me in a circle of.. well emotion. It sounds so simple but this vacant light has turned my stomach into pretzels and my thoughts upside down.
I guess that is what a crush can do. Because no matter how hard I try to understand I have to ask myself why?