I was going to title this post (Belligerent). Then I realized how unlikely it would be for me to read something with such a negative controlling glow. Like many of you who write from self experience; Connecting to the audience is hard when the view is rounded out by self perspective. I often end up deleting pieces from each post because emotions are NOT truths and sometimes this causes me to not post at all.
I know I have said it before so I will just hurry up just spill it out. I am the most depressingly positive person I know. In simpler words, I am absolutely freaking scared to connect. Yet the smallest stars shine the brightest.
It’s not so much a moral dilemma or self-doubt but fear of losing myself by connecting with anyone else. My thoughts are this, just because you can manipulate someone doesn’t mean that you should. Regardless of age, SOME “women” are just girls but with legs. But I believe there is someone out there that see’s the world just like me.
So even if I am more predictable than a time bomb. My view of reality is only distorted by pretty smiles and not being able to connect but, It’s a choice that I only hope one day will pay off when I can give all my love away. .
Picture by spirit